Reality or Bust
by turbomagnus
Summary: Keitaro, Motoko, Naru and Kitsune all wake up to discover that their experiences at the Hinata are all part of a virtual reality video game.


Author's Note: The 365 Project is an experimental project to write and post at least one short every day for the next year, not including my semi-regular bi-weekly updates. Whether or not that goal can be reached, we'll see... This is The 365 Project, 23 January.

Disclaimer: Ken Akamatsu owns Love Hina and I don't, he makes money from it and I don't... he thinks Kei/Naru is a good couple and I don't, so as you can no doubt tell by this point, I'm not Ken Akamatsu, I don't own Love Hina and the characters and locations are used without permission for non-profit entertainment purposes.

I concede the plot for this story is shamelessly borrowed from an episode of Red Dwarf, along with some of the dialogue. Sometimes, there's just no other way to say something other than how it has already been said.

* * *

"Reality or Bust"  
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

* * *

In a room filled with high-tech machinery and four beds, four figures stirred as a disembodied voice spoke...

"As with all role-playing adventures, you will experience a certain amount of disorientation upon leaving the game. It will be several minutes before your real-life memories return. So, in the meantime, please disengage the game-playing machinery and relax until an attendant is free to answer any of your questions. On behalf of MolMol International Technologies, welcome back to reality."

The only male in the room was the first to sit up, groaning and putting his hand to his forehead before realising something.

"Hey," he muttered, "Where's my glasses? And why am I seeing fine without them?"

The person next to him, a young woman that part of him noted was rather attractive with her dark brown, almost-black, hair pulled back into a ponytail stumbled as she went to stand up, only for the man to quickly slide off his bed and catch her.

"You okay?"

"This is a very, very bad dream, is it not?" the woman asked in concern as she looked around the room, the voice providing the familiarity that was missing to the man.

"Motoko?" the man asked.

She frowned and looked at him for a moment, "Urashima? Where are we?"

Keitaro shook his head, "I don't know... who else is here?"

"I do not know that either," Motoko answered, standing up and taking a moment to adjust herself to deal with her weight being distributed differently than she was used to, "Perhaps we should take a look."

"I'm half-foreign!" came one voice before they could move.

"That is Naru," Motoko gasped.

"What happened to my hair?" a second voice exclaimed.

"And Kitsune," Keitaro added as he stood up, "At least we know who else is here."

"But where is 'here' and where are the others; Su, Shinobu and Sarah?" Motoko wondered.

"I don't know," Keitaro said, "But maybe they do."

"What's happened to my eyes?" Naru was demanding, "And my hair! Did somebody switch my shampoo for bleach or something? If this is some kind of prank, it's not funny!"

Before anyone could respond or Naru could build up force with her rant, a door opened and an exotic-looking woman of about her early-twenties walked into the room, she looked familiar to the four Hinata residents, but it was Kitsune who was the first to realise why she did.

"Su!" Kitsune exclaimed, as it looked like their housemate did in her Red Moon-induced 'adult' form.

"No," she shook her head, "My name's Sumitra... oh, you must still be in the game. Don't worry, everything should come back within a half-hour at the most. Just wait in the recuperation lounge until it does; I need to set up the next group of players."

Keitaro frowned, "The next group of players?"

"Well, yes," Sumitra answered, "'Love Hina' is probably the most popular total immersion virtual reality game on the market, we never have enough machines to keep up with the waiting list. This is probably the first month since it came out that the waiting list has been less than a year long. So, what happened to end your session, if you're up to tell?"

Kitsune shook her head, "I don't know what you're talking about; one minute I'm laying on the couch at the Hinata and the next thing I know I'm waking up here looking like this..."

Motoko winced, "We were battling my sister, Keitaro and I, and Naru picked up the Hina Blade and became possessed by the demon bound within... then, like Kitsune, we woke up here."

"What?" Sumitra gasped, "Why were you fighting Tsuruko?"

Motoko narrowed her eyes, "It was the only way to reclaim my place in the Shinmeiryuu."

"Reclaim your place in the Shinmeiryuu?" Sumitra looked at her in confusion, "You should've been glad to get away from the planned life and expectations they had for you... The whole situation with not wanting to become heir to the school was made for it..."

Sumita looked at the only male in the room, "I guess you played Keitaro, then? Why on Earth were you going along with some crazy plan to help Motoko reclaim an heir position she didn't want in the first place?"

Keitaro rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "She was so upset that she couldn't be a warrior anymore, I just wanted to help make her feel better by regaining something that was such a big part of her life..."

Motoko tried not to blush at Keitaro's words, but the attendant just stared at him in surprise for a moment, "She wasn't supposed to regain it, she was supposed to replace it with your partnership!"

Keitaro and Motoko exchanged looks before Keitaro asked the question that was on both their minds, "Supposed to what?"

"Your partnership, Motoko was supposed to become Keitaro's partner as a special operative for the Japanese Government and his lover!" Sumitaa was now fighting the urge to yell at them.

"Special operative for the government?" Keitaro asked in confusion, "But I'm... I was just a Ronin, I'd failed every test to get into Tokyo U!"

"That's supposed to just be his cover so that no one pays much attention to him because they don't think highly of him," Sumitra lectured with a groan, "You mean you've been playing the promise-obsessed idiot version of Keitaro all this time? Really?"

Sumitra turned to the other two players, who had been mostly quiet so far, "Which one of you was Kitsune?"

The girl with short blue-black hair more blue than black raised her hand, "Me."

"Please tell me you knew who Kitsune was!" Sumitra almost begged.

Kitsune blinked, "I'm... she's a freelance writer and gambler, right?"

"No, no, no!" Sumitra stomped her foot, "She's a writer alright - Konno Mitsune is an undercover reporter! I can't believe this! I've never had anyone miss all the good parts before, it's just never happened! How can I file the 'game over' report for you if you couldn't get anything right? I'll never be taken seriously as an T.I.V.G. Attendant again... Out, just get out, go to the recuperation lounge and leave me to my misery!"

Sumitra punctuated this by pointing at a door clearly labeled 'recuperation lounge' and hanging her head.

"Um," the girl who played Naru asked nervously, almost afraid to set the other woman off, "What about me?"

"Out!"

* * *

In the recuperation lounge, 'Keitaro' collapsed onto a bench and dropped his head into his hands, "I'm not Keitaro, then... if I'm not me, who am I?"

"None of us are who we thought we were," 'Kitsune' shook her head as she leaned against the wall, "This is going to take some getting used to..."

'Motoko' was pacing and she stopped and looked at the blue-haired girl, "I'm not Motoko, then?"

"No," 'Kitsune' answered.

'Naru' was fuming, "Well, if we're not who we thought we were, then who the hell are we?"

"How are we supposed to know?" 'Motoko' snapped at her, "It's not like any of us remember any more than you do yet!"

While they were all thinking about what 'Motoko' had just said, a woman in a white jumpsuit knocked on the doorframe, "Excuse me, is there a Mariko Tucker here?"

"I'm sorry?" 'Keitaro' looked at her, "What?"

"Oh, silly foreign names," the woman answered, correcting herself, "I mean Tucker Mariko. Is there a Tucker Mariko here?"

"Uh," 'Kitsune' looked around the room, "We don't know yet."

The woman checked the paperwork on her clipboard again, "This is the Tucker party, so one of you is Tucker Mariko."

Four sets of eyes turned to look at the only logical possibility, the only one with foreign features to go with the foreign name.

"I don't want to be 'Tucker Mariko'," the former 'Naru' growled.

"I'm sorry, ma'am," the woman replied, "But it seems that you are Tucker Mariko. Your party's personal effects are in locker B-4, a medical doctor will be with you shortly to make sure there's no ill effects from your time with us."

With a smile, the woman turned and walked on down the hallway outside while 'Keitaro' opened the locker to take out a bin filled with bags of clothes and plastic baggies of belongings since Mariko was still bemoaning her fate.

"'Tucker Mariko'," Mariko groaned, "It sounds hideous."

"I don't know," 'Keitaro' pointed out as he began taking her things out of the bin and laying them on a bench, "It may sound hideous, but it looks like you're some kind of cheerleader, you've got the outfit, a baton... picture of some guy with a bokken, maybe he's your boyfriend?"

"If I was a cheerleader with a boyfriend," Mariko snapped at him, "Why would I give it up to wear coke-bottle glasses and be chased after by a clumsy oaf?"

"Naru's a smart girl, maybe you were wanting to try that kind of life?" 'Keitaro' suggested, "Who knows, maybe you and your boyfriend are having problems and this is your way of making him miss you?"

Mariko picked up the picture and looked at it, "I guess it could be worse, he looks like he's probably part of a kendo team, he could even be the team's captain. That wouldn't be so bad, I guess..."

"Keitaro, hurry it up!" 'Kitsune' demanded while Mariko continuted to focus on the guy's picture, "I want to know who I am!"

'Keitaro' glared at her, "Keitaro might have been a doormat, but let's find out whether I put up with that kind of thing or consider it a good reason to get mad at someone before you start ordering me around like you would him, got it?"

'Kitsune' shrank back slightly, "I just wanted to know who I am..."

"You're in luck," 'Keitaro' informed her, 'These next few bags are yours."

"Well, who am I?" 'Kitsune almost begged.

"Let's see," 'Keitaro' opened a baggie and took out what looked like a school id card, "Wow..."

"What? What is it?"

"You're a med student at Tokyo U!" 'Keitaro' announced.

"Really?"

"Yeah, this is your student identification card."

"Tokyo U," the blue-black-haired girl almost sighed at the thought, "What's my name?"

"Your name is Ami," 'Keitaro' looked at the card closely, "Sato Ami."

"Gimme!" Ami almost squealed as she snatched her id and the baggie it had been in out of 'Keitaro's' hands, leaving him to set her other stuff next to Mariko's so that the Tokyo U student could start going through it.

"So," 'Keitaro' remarked, looking at 'Motoko', "Which one of us do you think is next?"

'Motoko' reached into the bin herself and pulled out a bag, glancing at the contents, "It appears to be me... unless you perfer to wear skirts?"

'Keitaro' blushed, "I don't think I do."

"Hm," Motoko nodded, "Then it is most likely me... There's a name sown into the collar of this shirt, 'Ishikawa Kasumi'."

'Keitaro' looked at her, "Ishikawa Kasumi, I can see you as a Kasumi."

Kasumi laid down the bag in her hands and picked up another, "And I can see you as a Kensuke, Sulu-san."

"Let me see that," 'Keitaro' reached over and took the bag from Kasumi, taking out a membership card for an arcade and reading the name, "Sulu Kensuke... I sound cool... I wonder why I wanted to play Keitaro..."

"I believe I know why," Kasumi answered as she pulled a bag of clothes out of the bin, a white t-shirt with a blonde carrying a massive sword printed on it with the words 'Final Fantasy VII', "If you are the kind of person who wears a video game t-shirt, Kensuke, you would probably jump at the chance to play a secret agent in a total immersion video game."

"And you?" Kensuke asked.

Kasumi held up an apron, "If I would wear an apron so much that it would be included in my personal property, I believe I would gladly exchange the kind of home-focused life it implies to live the life of a modern samurai woman like Motoko for a time. Remember what her greatest fear was?"

"Besides turtles?" Kensuke asked, causing Kasumi to narrow her eyes at him.

"Yes."

He thought for a moment, "'To live not as a warrior, but as a woman', wasn't that what Tsuruko said when she striped Motoko of her sword?"

"Which means that I was afraid of returning to the kind of life I was trying to escape from, I think," Kasumi answered.

Another knock upon the door frame drew the attentions of all four, causing them to look in confusion at the woman standing there in a lab-coat and tinted glasses.

Ami raised an eyebrow, "Sumitra?"

"No, though I've seen the similarities," the woman answered as she walked into the room and sat down on a bench, "I'm Doctor Sundari, I'm here to give you a quick check-up before we release you - insurance purposes and all. After I'm finished you will all be free to change and leave the building. Now, please, all of you, have a seat and tell me who and what you are."

There was minor jockeying for position that left Ami and Mariko sitting on one bench and Kensuke and Kasumi sitting on another, all facing Doctor Sundari.

Sundari pointed at Mariko, "You first, please, Miss...?"

"Tucker Mariko," Mariko answered, frowning again at how uncomfortable her family name sounded on her tounge, "I'm a high school cheerleader, I think."

Sundari nodded, "Correct. And you?"

"Sato Ami," Ami replied, "I'm a med student at Tokyo University... and I have no idea how this will have affected my grades..."

"Nothing to be concerned about, Sato-san," Sundari informed her, "It was taken care of before you started playing 'Love Hina'... Now you, Miss...?"

"Ishikawa Kasumi," Kasumi bowed slightly, despite her seated position, "A stay-at-home daughter and homemaker."

Sundari nodded, "I've never heard it put quite that way, but yes. And finally, you, Mister...?"

"Sulu Kensuke, I guess I'm just a video game playing slacker," Kensuke shrugged.

"Yes, that's correct," Sundari informed him with a smile, "Cognitive abilities all seem to be good."

"Does that mean we can leave now?" Ami asked.

"I have one last test to administer... an eye exam," Sundari adjusted the glasses she wore and pulled what looked like a pen of some kind out of her pocket before pulling the top up to reveal a red light, "If you'll all please look directly into the light, we can begin."

Kensuke had a strange feeling that he should know that piece of equipment, but by the time he realised where he had seen it before, Sundari had already pressed the button and the flash of light had left the other four occupants of the room unconscious.

"Awesome!" Sundari exclaimed as she slipped the 'flashy-thingy' back into her pocket and reached up to her head, seeming to lift something off.

* * *

In a room filled with high-tech machinery and four beds, four figures stirred as the machinery lifted equipment away from their heads. The only male in the room was the first to sit up, groaning and putting his hand to his forehead before realising something.

"Oh, no," Kensuke groaned, "Not again..."

The person next to him, a young woman that part of him noted was rather attractive with her black hair loose and falling across her shoulders stumbled as she went to stand up, only for the man to quickly slide off his bed and catch her.

"You okay?"

"This is a very, very bad dream, is it not?" the woman asked in concern as she looked around the room.

Kensuke shook his head, "I don't know any more, Kasumi-san... This is getting creepy - I think I saw this on a tv show once..."

Before she could respond, Kaolla Su dropped onto Kasumi's head, "Hey-heys, Motokos! Didja and Manager-san have fun with my new invention?"

"Sumitra?" Ami asked in confusion as she sat up.

Mariko was also sitting up, but her confused question was different, "Doctor Sundari?"

"No-noes," Su shook her head, "They was just avatars for me to watch you in the invention with! Ha-ha! Su's made the next generation of video games - with Su's virtual reality system first-person will really mean first-person now, yep-yep!"

Mariko blinked, "You mean that you made us think we were someone else just so you could test an invention?"

"Yeppers!" Su chirped, "What's the point in role-playing games if you can't be your character? Su hads to test it with someone not knowing it so they couldn't affect Su's results.."

"So we're not a house-daughter?" Kasumi asked hopefully.

"Or a half-foreigner?" Mariko wasn't sure how she felt about it, the picture of the boyfriend was certainly a temptation.

"And I'm not a Tokyo U student?" Ami asked in disappointment.

"Nope-nope," Su answered, hopping off of Kasumi onto one of the vacated beds, "Those was just testing to see if peoples could gets into believing they's their characters."

Kensuke looked at Su in suspicion, "And that stuff about secret agents and undercover reporters?"

Su grinned almost too widely, "That was all you's, Keitaros. You's all added that to the program subconsciously - ain't it great? Play your way!"

Su actually punched the air with that exclamation, missing the moment where Kensuke and Kasumi each tried to glance at the other without being caught.

"You know what?" Kitsune asked rhetorically, "I'm going to have a drink and try to forget any of this ever happened..."

It was a pity, Kitsune was thinking to herself, she could've gotten used to being Ami.

Dropping Mariko wasn't as hard for Naru as she snapped at Su, "Next time you want to test an invention, use it on Keitaro and leave the rest of us out of it, Su!"

Grabbing Kitsune by the wrist Naru stomped away, followed quickly by Su who was complaining that they didn't know the way out and needed her to point them in the right direction. This left Kasumi and Kensuke, or rather Motoko and Keitaro standing there alone, looking at each other and thinking about the way they had connected in Su's virtual reality program.

"I, uh," Keitaro rubbed the back of his head nervously, "I guess we should follow them so we don't get stuck in here, shouldn't we."

Motoko looked at him calculatingly, "We shouldn't, but we will."

"What?" Keitaro shook his head in confusion, "Why shouldn't we?"

"Urashima," Motoko started slowly, "If you did work for the government, you would tell us, wouldn't you?"

Keitaro's previous nervousness returned stronger, "I, uh, um... I really don't know where that came from... Wait, now that I think about it, I think I saw Kitsune watching a James Bond movie on tv the other day, maybe it came from her, not me!"

"Hm..." Motoko frowned, thoughtfully.

"Um, don't we need to catch up with the rest?" Keitaro asked nervously, not sure what Motoko was thinking about.

His answer came as her hand shot out and grabbed his shirt, allowing her to pull herself into him and press her lips to his before she let go and took a step back.

"Just in case," Motoko told him with a faint smile before she turned and followed the others.

* * *

Author's note; Eight characters were referenced by the alternate names used in the preceding story. Four from other anime, the other four from different live-action sci-fi series that shared a franchise. Anyone want to guess the characters referenced and where they're from?


End file.
